The Science of Sexual Attraction

Sexual attraction is one of the most powerful forms of non-verbal communication. It requires no words – the body gives out plenty of signals.

The chemistry that sparks off attraction is hard to pin down. There are, though, ways of sending out signals to interest another person, avoid making unintentional overtures, or detect whether someone is interested in you. All your senses have a role to play; so does the sixth sense – intuition. Perhaps that’s why women usually pick up sexual body talk more quickly than men.

Eye contact

The most obvious sign – impossible to disguise – is in the eyes. When a person is attracted to someone their pupils become larger. That’s why lovers spend so much time gazing into each others’ eyes.

Personal space

Personal space is important too. Invasion of body space is a major turn-off. If you’re too close, your behaviour is perceived as aggressive and the other may close up (e.g. arms crossed, stiff posture) or back off. Men are more likely to misread the signs, for instance, by encroaching on a woman’s personal space before she’s given the go-ahead.

You can tell if HE is attracted when he:

  • Finds an excuse to touch your hand or shoulder
  • Leans towards you
  • Mimics your gestures
  • Pushes his shoulders back
  • Warmly gazes into your eyes
  • Stands with his feet slightly apart and pointing towards you
  • Subtly inclines the lower half of his body towards you

If the attraction is mutual, SHE

  • Tosses her hair or strokes her arm
  • Shows the delicate skin on her wrist
  • Fiddles with her ear lobe
  • Smiles and keeps her mouth a little open
  • Crosses and uncrosses her legs, pointing her knees and feet towards you
  • Moistens her lips

Clues to unfaithfulness

Physical clues also reveal if a partner has been unfaithful. They blush, stumble over their words and avoid physical contact. And, most importantly, they revert to the childhood habit of placing the hand over the mouth or rubbing the chin when they try to cover up the truth.

Reading body language is one of the most useful communication skills you can learn!

©David Lawrence Preston, 30.4.2016

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