The source of most mental tension is the ego – that part of our psyche which constructs the image of ourselves we like to present to the world – our idea of who we should be and who we would like others to think we are.
1. Give up the need to be right
Giving up the need to be right has nothing to do with whether you actually are right or not (which is often a moot point), but avoiding putting others down by making them wrong.
Let everyone have their say and keep your counsel. Unless you absolutely must (e.g. in a difficult negotiation situation), avoid arguments and disagreements and practise not responding to provocation.
In the greater scheme of things, you and your adversary are one, so look for ways you can both be right. That’s win-win.
2. Stop judging
A judgement is ‘a view or declaration of what is good, right or fair.’ Some judgements are necessary because they help us to make sound decisions. Take driving for instance: judging speed, distance and direction are essential for our safety.
But there are other kinds of judgements: judging what is good or bad, better, worse, right, wrong, moral, immoral and so on. These are judgements of the ego.
Stop judging other people. Who are you to judge them? How can you condemn the path they have chosen? What right have you to make statements about what they are doing and where they need to be?
3. Get away from ‘what’s in it for me’
‘What’s in it for me’ is the mantra of the ego. Its first instinct is ignore the bigger picture and protect and take care of itself. The Higher Self has different priorities, such as ‘What’s most likely to benefit us all?’ and ‘How can I help?’
4. Don’t take yourself too seriously
Ego-dominated people feed off others’ approval. They are preoccupied with their reputation and easily take offence. They are easy targets for jokers and pranksters since they are easily upset and become aggressive when they feel under attack.
Learn not to take offence at what others say or do. Remember, when someone disagrees with you or criticises you, they’re judging only your outward appearance, not the real you. Step back – there’s always a funny side!
5. Put a stop to jealousy
Jealousy is born of fear. The ego is dominated by fear. It begrudges others their talents and achievements, not recognising that one person’s success can benefit all.
In order to feel jealous, you must compare yourself unfavourably with others and wish you had what they have. Let go of the need to judge yourself against others. Take pleasure in their blessings and good fortune. Wish them happiness. What matters is not what others have or do or how you compare with them, but how far you have progressed along your path.
6. Constantly remind yourself who you are
Constantly remind yourself who you are. You are Infinite Intelligence in human form. Stop looking outside yourself and instead look within to where lasting peace and joy may be found.
Before long, you won’t need to remind yourself any more – you’ll just know it.
The difference it makes
When you discover the truth about yourself, that you are a spiritual being, your self-image is no longer based on your physical features. Your deepest values are non-physical – happiness, peace, love, truth and so on. You transcend your previous limitations.
You are equally aware of others as spiritual beings on their own journey. You see them in terms of their virtues, values and talents. Love is your predominant feeling towards others.
You are caring, empathic and considerate. You are guided by your intuition, taking responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions because you know they are the seeds of your future harvest. You approach problems differently, knowing that if you want change you must focus on causes because it is absurd to expect effects to deal with themselves. You are self-reliant yet connected, at ease with yourself and warm and respectful towards others.
Isn’t this what you want?
©David Lawrence Preston, 7.11.2016
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How To Books, 2007