Forgiveness

I’m often struck by the spectacle of people who’ve just suffered some tragedy – like a close relative being murdered – being placed in front of the TV cameras and being asked one of the most stupid of stupid questions – how do you feel? Soon after the event, they’re usually too shocked to say anything sensible. Often they just burst into tears.

Sometimes they express their anger and their desire for vengeance. They say things like ‘how can I sleep until the killer has been brought to justice?’ or ‘If I could get my hands on them I’d tear them limb from limb…..’ They tell how they can’t sleep, their health has suffered, they can’t work because of the worry that consumes them – a natural response to shock in the short term, but in the longer term a sign they haven’t really dealt with it.

Then time passes, the culprit is caught and the same people say, ‘How can I ever forgive them?’ or ‘No punishment can repay what they did.’ ‘Some even say, ‘I don’t want to forgive? Why should I?’

We all know revenge can’t bring back one’s loved ones or change the facts if a terrible accident has taken place.

Fortunately most of us are never in that situation.  We suffer various lesser setbacks, we perhaps feel someone has cheated on us, stolen from us or done us harm in some other way. Our instinct is to try and get our own back, ‘I’ll show him’, get angry, seek revenge or perhaps cut them out of our lives completely.

But there’s a problem – several problems in fact.

  • Anger clouds or judgement. We find ourselves doing unwise things, and sometimes inadvertently sabotage our own well-being.
  • Anger, bitterness, resentment etc. make us ill; they flood the body with toxic stress chemicals, cause the muscles to tighten, leading to physical problems.

It’s said that acid only harms the vessel that contains it.

There’s an old Chinese saying, ‘If you’re going to seek revenge, you’d better dig two graves.’

But let’s not be glib about this – forgiveness isn’t easy. It’s all too easy to say you’ve forgiven because it’s what people want to hear, even though you’re doing it through gritted teeth and deep down you haven’t forgiven at all. And the reason Oscar Wilde gave to forgive isn’t very helpful either. He said, ‘Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys then so much.’

Why forgive

Here are four reasons to start with:

  • When we forgive we heal our pain. Our bodies feel different – less tense. The person or event we’ve forgiven becomes a memory, no longer charged with emotion. You’ll be able to meet the other person as if the situation had never happened between you.
  • Everything we give out boomerangs back on us. Fear and anger come back to hit us. But when we forgive, when we radiate positive energy, negativity dissolves and the boomerang effect doesn’t take place.
  • Forgiveness is not about condoning wrong doing. It is not saying you’re glad it happened or that you would like someone else to change, but about taking total responsibility for your own life.  I often hear people say, ‘Why should I forgive after what they did? How can anyone forgive that?’ But that’s not the point – you don’t do it for them – you do it for you. You do it to get rid of the harmful ‘stuff’ you’re carrying around with you.
  • Above all, you open up the possibility to creating a better future. When you forgive, a transformation takes place in your life. You let go and move on. It brings space into your life for new thoughts and new experiences.

Intention

To say, ‘Just forgive,’ is too glib. There are times when we’re not ready to forgive; when the wrongs we believe we have suffered are too great. We must ask ourselves if we would really like to be able to forgive, if it is something we would like to move towards?

Simply having the intention to forgive – wanting to – sets you on the way to making it happen. That’s why I feel sad for those people who say ‘I’ll never forgive, I don’t want to forgive, why should I?’

The way forward is to create more understanding, more compassion, more wisdom into ourselves. Then over time the pain will ease and the tension gradually fades away.

When we express the willingness to forgive, we’re taking a major step towards letting go.

Thinking

Examine your beliefs about forgiveness. If you believe that you have to get your own back for every wrong that has ever been done to you or it’s a sign of weakness, think about this carefully. Is this belief serving you well?

Work on eliminating unforgiving thoughts. Listen to your self-talk. Tell yourself you don’t want to think this way. Release the energy you’ve been putting into holding on to blaming thoughts.

Use Affirmations – establish in your mind positive attributes such as love, compassion and forgiveness.

Affirm: ‘I now establish forgiveness in my consciousness. Perfect order is now established in my mind. I am at peace.’

Imagination

Make a mental image of the person with whom you are angry and send them love. ‘From this moment on, I send you love and light.’  Surround this image of them in pure white light. ‘See’ yourself as connected to this person. If you cannot yet forgive, imagine yourself looking down on the situation from a higher perspective. Very often the Earth-bound self cannot forgive, but the Higher Self can.

Action

Inwardly or expressly thank those who made life difficult and tested you. They have contributed to your life’s purpose. If you respond wisely, they have aided you in your purpose and your growth.

Stop taking those petty actions of revenge. Extend your generosity and compassion to all. And hardest of all – go to that person and ask forgiveness, or do it in your imagination (they’ll pick it up one way or another).

The Spiritual Perspective on Forgiveness

What about you? What do you need to be forgiven for?

In order to forgive you must have done several things:

  • Judged.
  • Blamed.
  • Experienced fear (or become defensive through fear).

Once you stop judging and blaming, forgiveness is no longer an issue. If you had never judged or blamed another, there would be nothing to forgive.

And don’t forget to forgive yourself – you deserve it as much as anyone else! If you’ve been judging another harshly, you too must be forgiven.

True forgiveness is a permanent state of being, not just an occasional act. Let go and let the universe handle it through the natural Law of Cause and Effect. Others will have to face up to their responsibilities and learn from them, just as we do. We need do nothing. Lessons will be learned. Justice will be done.

Wouldn’t it be good to let those people on the telly have the good news? It would save them a lot of suffering.

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter @David_L_Preston

©David Lawrence Preston, 19.2.2017

365 Spirituality book

How To Books, 2007

Simplify your life for happiness

If you really want to be happy and less stressed, simplify your life. Reduce your dependence on possessions. Surround yourself only with things that meet your needs and delight you.

  • Give up the need to have more. ‘More’ is one of the mantras of the ego, which believes ‘I never have enough’ and ‘If I don’t get it I won’t be happy’.
  • Give up the desire for luxury.
  • Shun ostentation.
  • Choose simple tastes that place less strain on the environment.
  • Learn to use less expensive things in more creative ways.

This doesn’t mean you’ll be less prosperous. Truly prosperous people do not need to burden themselves with unnecessary personal possessions. They know instinctively that they will always have sufficient for their needs.

When you’re gripped by an impulse to acquire something new, ask yourself:

  • Do I really need this?
  • Why?
  • Will it bring me more ‘pleasure’ than ‘pain’?
  • Have I kidded myself I need it to be happy?

If you don’t need it, don’t buy it! Resist the persuasive skills of the marketing and advertising industries! Research has repeatedly shown that once we have enough to feed, clothe and house ourselves, each additional item makes little difference to our happiness and well-being.

Clear the clutter

Free yourself of unnecessary paraphernalia. Don’t hang onto things just on the off-chance that one day they may come in useful. This attitude is born out of fear that one day your needs won’t be met, which keeps you rooted in poverty consciousness.

If you don’t need it, get rid of it. If you haven’t worn something for a while, let it go. Recycle anything you can’t use or give it to charity. Clear out your drawers, cupboards, shelves and every nook and cranny, and once you’ve cleared a space, don’t refill it. A good clear-out leaves you feeling lighter and clears the channel of supply enabling you to receive more of what you really need and value.

‘Wealth beyond what is natural is of no more use than an overflowing container.’

Epicurus

©David Lawrence Preston, 5.6.2017

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter @David_L_Preston

How to Books, 2007

The same keys that produce discord will produce harmony too

You may recall the famous sketch in a Morecambe and Wise Show featuring Andre Previn. Eric Morecambe sits down at the piano. The audience is expecting him to play a concerto conducted by Previn, but instead plays a honky-tonk rag.  This happens several times until Previn stops the orchestra and approaches Morecambe.

‘You’re playing the wrong notes!’ he says.

Eric Morecambe grabs him by the collar and says emphatically, ‘I’m playing all the right notes – but not necessarily in the right order.’

Viewers probably thought this was an original idea, but actually it wasn’t. The healer and psychotherapist Phineas Parkhurst Quimby had said in the middle of the 19th Century, ‘Take a piano. The same keys that produce discord will produce harmony.’ Were Morecambe and Wise’s scriptwriters aware of Quimby? We don’t know.

What did he mean? That the same metaphysical laws that can produce discord and misery can also produce harmony and contentment. The difference is, of course, one’s consciousness.

Everything in the universe, including every idea, is underpinned by perfect wisdom, but it can only manifest if we apply our mind-power. Our purpose is to align ourselves with this source of wisdom and perfection. Then miracles can happen.

It’s taken a long time – but at last people are waking up to the incredible contribution made by Quimby. Science still hasn’t caught up – but one day it will.

©David Lawrence Preston, 11.5.2017

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter @Feelinggoodatt

 

 

How to Books, 2007

Is it unspiritual to be poor?

Some religious people and theologians believe that it is unspiritual to be poor. They argue that poor people are unaware of the spiritual principles by which our wants and needs are satisfied. Wealth, they say, is a cosmic ‘thank you’ for our contribution to the world. If we have plenty, it’s because we give plenty. If not, it’s because we don’t give enough.

What nonsense! Do cosmic ‘thank you’s’ only come in material form? Does every wealthy person offer above average service to humanity?

What about those who inherit wealth, hoard it, or make their money by trading arms, child pornography, tobacco products, illegal drugs or people trafficking and so on? What about those whose businesses or investments pollute the oceans or destroy the rain forests? And isn’t this insulting to the millions who work hard to provide for themselves and their families without ever becoming rich, many of whom are far more spiritually attuned than the mega-rich?

Spirituality and wealth are not related. You can be poor and unspiritual or rich and unspiritual; you can be rich and spiritual or poor and spiritual. What matters is the consciousness with which you approach life.

However, spirituality and prosperity are related. Spiritually aware people manifest what they need, use it wisely, share it with others and feel good about what they do. That should be your aim too. Enjoy what life has to offer, but don’t get so caught up in worldly matters that you lose sight of the bigger picture.

Do you have to be poor to be spiritual?

Most of the great spiritual teachers (including Yeshua of Nazareth, Prophet Mohamed and the Buddha) had few possessions. Some gave up great wealth to spread their teachings.

So do you have to live in poverty to be spiritual? Not at all. There is nothing inherently spiritual about living on the bread line. Even the Buddha, who turned his back on inherited wealth to live as a humble monk, taught that it is not necessary to deprive ourselves. It is selfishness and greed – not material sufficiency or comfort – that clash with spiritual values.

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 7.2.2017

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter @David_L_Preston

How to Books, 2007

Everything material is impermanent

Every material thing you have will one day cease to exist in its present form. Even your body will return to the dust from which it was made.

The consequence is clear: if you chase after possessions, hoard them and rely on them for security, you make yourself a slave to things that inexorably deteriorate. They are not a stable basis on which to build your happiness.

People who are highly acquisitive are often too busy or stressed to enjoy life. Think of the effort and expenditure to which some go to ensure that they are up to date with the latest fashion trends so they can win the admiration of others similarly inclined – and yet in a very short time, the items on which they relied for their feelings of pleasure lose their appeal.

Wouldn’t it be better to attend to something that brings lasting benefit – the qualities of consciousness that bring lasting security, happiness, love and peace of mind?

©David Lawrence Preston, 2.2.2017

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter @David_L_Preston

How to Books, 2007

 

Universal Intelligence – however you conceive it – loves all its children equally

Not long ago a local Councillor from Northern Ireland stated his belief on UK national radio that Hurricane Katrina was God’s retribution against gay people in New Orleans (apparently a gay festival would have taken place in the city two days later had the hurricane not happened) and added that the Tsunami in December 2004 was due to God punishing Asia for not being predominantly Christian.

What do you think? Do you agree with the Councillor, or would you rather heed the words of Gene Robinson, the openly gay man who was elected Bishop of the New Hampshire in June 2003, sparking off a heated debate between conservatives and liberals within the Church over whether he should be allowed to serve.

Said Robinson, ‘The nature of G_d must take precedence over the affairs of the church, and the nature of G_d is to love all His children equally.’

Whether you see G_d as a man in the sky, an Intelligence, a quantum information field or whatever I think you can be pretty certain that it doesn’t discriminate. However you conceive it, it loves all its children equally.

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 30.1.2017

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter @David_L_Preston

 

How to Books, 2007

Religious texts

There are many wonderful religious writings. Most were written in allegorical style and were never meant to be taken literally (although some people do); others are reasonably accurate records of events as far as we can tell. Some reflect the best information available at the time of writing, but were subsequently proven to be untrue. And others are downright malicious or misleading, making a mockery of truth.

Even so, religious texts can be great sources of wisdom once you know how to read and interpret them. The secret is to look for the meaning behind the words rather than the taking the words literally, and not to be drawn in by someone else’s ideas if they conflict with your own. Learning passages of scripture off by heart can be harmful if taken as a substitute for your own experience.

Many of the most spiritual people I know have never studied a religious text in their lives!

The Bhagavad Gita

The Bhagavad Gita is an excellent example of a religious text that is symbolic and metaphorical. The title means, ‘Song of the Divine One.’ It is an ancient Hindu text, written in Sanskrit between 500-50BC. It tells the story of the warrior Arjuna (who represents the human soul on the battlefield of life) and what he learns in conversation with his divine teacher, Krishna.

It begins with a plea to shed all worry and grief so that one can begin spiritual practice with a calm, clear mind. This frees the individual from the dominance of the ego so he or she can embark on a path leading to enlightenment. Arjuna finally achieves spiritual freedom, inner peace and a state of unconditional love.

The Bhagavad Gita is often described as a concise guide to Hindu philosophy. It explains that true enlightenment comes from growing beyond identification with the ego and instead identifying with the immortal Self, (the Atman). Through detachment from the material sense of Ego, the disciple is able to transcend his illusory mortality and attachment to the material world and enter the realm of the Infinite.

The Bible

The Bible is a collection of writings. They were originally written over a period of ten centuries by people keen to record their notion of G_d. It has been translated, edited and rewritten many times that we no longer know what was said in the original text. Charles Fillmore, a great biblical scholar, wrote:

‘Modern research has thrown such additional light upon the original meaning of the scriptures that it is not safe to assume that a single paragraph of the Bible is understood in our day as it was intended at the time it was written.’

The Bible uses stories and events that are symbols of our own lives to help us in our individual quest for truth. When we interpret it metaphysically, we find it contains deep truths. As we discover them we change and grow, and then the meanings in the Bible evolve too.

The Qu’ran

Muslims believe that G_d’s final message to man was revealed to the Prophet Mohammad and recorded in the Qu’ran. They believe it contains the exact words of God as dictated by the Angel Gabriel. Those who accept the Qu’ran will be rewarded on the Day of Judgement; anyone who turns away from it will have a life of hardship in this world and will have to account for their actions on Judgement Day.

The I Ching

The I Ching, also called ‘Book of Changes’ is the oldest of the classic Chinese texts, dating from around 2,800BC. Its philosophy centres on three ideas:

  • The dynamic balance of opposites;
  • The evolution of events as a process; and
  • Acceptance of the inevitability of change.

The book consists of a series of symbols, rules for manipulating those symbols, plus poems and commentary.

Warnings from history

Religious texts get interpreted by their followers. Some have been used to justify violence and repression. Muslim suicide bombers, for instance, have set out to kill innocent people with the words of their prophet on their lips. It is clear, however, that anyone claiming to be a worshipper of Allah, the Compassionate and Merciful, who also claims that such terrorists die in glorious martyrdom is guilty of the clearest blasphemy.

Similar actions have not been uncommon in the Christian world down the ages. For example, a Roman Catholic guidebook published in 1486, the Malleus Maleficarum (literally the Witches Hammer), was used to justify widespread torture and murder of women.

No religion has been exempt from such episodes. And they continue today, albeit in a different form.

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 29.1.2017

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter @David_L_Preston

How to Books, 2007

Attune yourself to Creative Intelligence by taking some quiet time for yourself each day

Creative Intelligence is the invisible energy that governs the universe; the Life-Force which suffuses everything and connects us to each other. It’s not a fanciful idea – it has a firm scientific basis.

Mahatma Gandhi described it like this:

‘Whilst everything around me is ever-changing, ever-dying, there is underlying all that changes a living power that is changeless, that holds all together, that creates, dissolves and re-creates.’

Be quiet and still, then you can feel it pulsating in every part of your being.

A student once asked the teacher, ‘How can I find G_d?’ The teacher answered, ‘How does a fish find the ocean?’

You are living in an ocean of consciousness. It is around you and in every atom of your body. Love, peace and happiness are not to be found in faraway places or unusual states of consciousness, but here, right now, when you look within.

Have some quiet time to yourself each day. Make it a priority. Reflect on spiritual ideas and meditate on the source of your inner power.

As your inner power grows, people will comment, ‘I want what you have. Can you show me how to get it?’ Tell them what you have learned. Share your experiences in a spirit of love and with humility. Explain to them that they already have what they seek and encourage them to develop a quiet, calm mind. Then they will discover it for themselves.

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 23.1.2017

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter @David_L_Preston

How to Books, 2007

 

Your Inner Power

Everything you need to build a happy and fulfilling life and become a force for good in the world already lies within you. You may not have been aware of it, but it is there, just as it always was. Look deeper: it may be buried under a mountain of negative thinking, false beliefs and emotional baggage.

You are charged with spiritual energy. It needs only to be released, and as long as you have the ability to think and act for yourself, you can do it. It’s never too late.

Your inner power is non-physical

Your inner power has nothing to do with your physical attributes. If it were, the world would be ruled by Olympic athletes and weightlifters. Elderly, impaired or diminutive individuals such as Nelson Mandela, Winston Churchill, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Helen Keller, Mahatma Gandhi, Stephen Hawking and Mother Theresa would have been powerless and made little impact.

Your inner power is spiritual. Spiritual means ‘non-physical’. It reveals itself in your thoughts and beliefs, ideas, dreams, hopes, feelings and understandings. These shape your world, because your life is a reflection of what you hold in your mind.

Your thoughts, words and actions have real power. Take charge of your inner world and you take charge of your outer world too.

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 23.1.2017

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter @David_L_Preston

How to Books, 2007

Where should we look for the secret of life?

We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.’

(T.S.Eliot)

 

There’s an old Eastern story: Long ago, four senior gods met to decide where to hide the greatest secret of life. They knew they needed a safe place because if humans ever found it they couldn’t be trusted to use it constructively.

The first god suggested hiding it at the top of a high mountain, but they soon realised that humans would eventually climb to the top and find it.

The second suggested that the bottom of the deepest ocean would be better, but agreed with the others that humans would eventually explore the depths too.

The third suggested the centre of the Earth, but they realised that humans would one day dig deep enough to find it.

Finally, the wisest spoke. ‘There’s only one place to hide the great secret of the universe – within the human heart.  They’ll never think of looking for it there.’

The secret of life cannot be found in holy books for it lies within.

©David Lawrence Preston, 23.1.2017

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter@David_L_Preston

How to Books, 2007