Illness, Health and Self-Awareness

Scientific research increasingly shows that negative thoughts and emotions can make us ill and positive thoughts and emotions help to keep us well. Happy, contented, emotionally well-adjusted and optimistic people have more energy and get ill less often. They also live longer. How, then, can we use these insights to heal our bodies and stay healed?

The starting point is self-awareness. Every great teacher, from Lao Tsu, the Buddha, Socrates, King Solomon to modern day gurus like Dr Deepak Chopra and Osho have agreed.

Most illnesses arise from miscommunication between the body and unconscious mind, telling us that some issues in our lives need to be addressed. Often, when we address an issue, the problem clears up without further intervention.

Correctly handled, illness can be the trigger for personal development and the gateway to spiritual growth. Along with the pain and suffering comes the opportunity to change. Many health problems are primarily due to poor self-management.

If you think this is an exaggeration, here’s an example. Mick was a wealthy businessman, forty-three years old. He was diagnosed as suffering from gout, a disease in which an excess of uric acid in the blood causes excruciatingly painful swelling in the joints. On some days, he could only walk using crutches.

For several years he relied on medication but had no idea what was causing. Then one day a health practitioner told him the main cause of gout was opulent living – especially a poor diet. Mick was certainly guilty of that. His alcohol consumption was well over the recommended limit, and he loved high fat, sweetened, refined foods, especially generous helpings of meat, blue cheeses and desserts.

The practitioner gave him a diet sheet which prohibited (among other things) red meat, dairy foods and alcohol, and advised an increase in salads, fresh fruit and vegetables. ‘Sod this,’ he said. ‘I’m not a flamin’ rabbit! If I follow this I’ll starve.’ So he carried on as before. Needless to say, the condition did not improve.

In time the agony got worse and he came round to following the practitioner’s advice. He made a full recovery.

Mick’s was a very obvious wake-up call. Usually, though, the problem is not so apparent. The sufferer may have adopted a lifestyle that harms them physically, mentally, emotional and/or spiritually without being aware. But if they ask themselves, ‘What could I learn from this? What needs to be addressed? What is it telling me about my lifestyle, my way of thinking, my hopes and fears, beliefs, values and personal relationships?’ the answers may be revealing. Then changes can be made.

Self-awareness includes:

  • Intention: Do you want to be well? To be healed? If this sounds like a silly question, be aware that some people would rather stay ill! Why? Because illness can itself be the solution to other problems. It can provide justification for failure, avoiding responsibility and inability to cope. It attracts sympathy and attention. Practitioners can quickly spot such people because they know that if the patient does not want to be healed, their healing efforts will be in vain.
  • Habitual thinking patterns can block the healing process. Every thought you entertain affects every cell of your body and can weaken the healing process.
  • Beliefs are powerful thought-forms that deliver a direct command to the nervous system. Author Norman Cousins (who cured himself of a terminal illness after doctors had given up on him) wrote: ‘Drugs are not always necessary. Belief in recovery always is.’ Beliefs do not have to be conscious; they continue to influence you even when you’re not thinking about them and affect us whether they are true or false.
  • Recurrent emotions that need to be addressed.
  • Faith: another word for total belief. People with faith in a positive outcome are often the best fighters.

Self-awareness and mindfulness are the starting points for all progress, from confidence building and self-esteem to physical wellness.

©Feelinggoodallthetime, 27.3.2017

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Can Positive Emotions Keep You Well?

There’s no doubt that negative emotions can create and sustain illness. It’s been known intuitively and written about for thousands of years and increasingly recognised medically and scientifically over the last century. For example, Dr Sigmund Freud wrote: ‘Often repressed emotions will manifest either as behavioural problems or physical problems’. Although widely derided at the time and since, the evidence is now overwhelming.

Cellular biologist Bruce Lipton[1] and others have shown that every cell in the body has intelligence and responds to our ‘instructions’ (thoughts, mental images, attitudes and beliefs). As cells reproduce, they respond to the patterns we give them. This way, over time every emotion is locked into our physical makeup. New cells reflect the predominant emotions currently experiences, thus negative emotions – especially anger and fear – can create illness.

Can positive emotions keep you well?

The question arises, if ‘negative’ thoughts and emotions can make you ill, can ‘positive’ thoughts and emotions make – and keep – you well? Can positive emotions improve your chances of good mental and physical health? The answer is a qualified ‘yes’.

Dr Norman Cousins became an internationally known speaker and author after restoring himself to health using ‘laughter therapy’ – watching funny movies to help him maintain a sunny disposition. Others (but not everyone) who tried it had similar results.

Research by the Institute of Noetic Sciences shows that taking personal responsibility, learning to express our emotions constructively and reappraising old beliefs that are unhelpful or inappropriate certainly helps. Seeking spiritual awareness through a practice such as prayer, mindfulness or meditation also help.

Happy, enthusiastic, optimistic, go-ahead people do have more energy and get ill less often. In addition, many studies have concluded that people who are well adjusted emotionally and socially are healthier and live longer.

For example:

  • A research team at the University of Michigan studied 2,700 people for fourteen years, and found that regular social contact significantly increased life expectancy, particularly among men. The death rate among people who did not have close relationships was 250% higher during the study period.
  • A random sample of 7,000 adults in California revealed that adults with strong family bonds, good social relationships and a happy, outgoing attitude had half the mortality rate of those without such ties, irrespective of their smoking, drinking, exercise and eating habits.
  • In another experiment, records were kept of a hundred factory workers in the UK. Those reporting a supportive home, work and social life stayed healthier than who were dissatisfied with their domestic and working lives. The incidence of arthritis in the least contented group was ten times higher than in the most contented.

How, then, can we use these insights to heal out bodies and stay healed? By cultivating:

  • Self-awareness.
  • Positive intentions.
  • Positive thoughts and beliefs.
  • Health imagination.
  • Constructive actions.

This is the I-T-I-A Formula©. These four letters hold the key to health, happiness and prosperity, provided they are consistently applied. I’ve written widely on them elsewhere. Take a look!

[1] Bruce Lipton, The Biology of Belief, Hay House, 2008, ISBN 978-1401923112

 

©David L Preston, 24.3.2017

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Intuition = ‘inner tuition’

Intuition is the sixth sense. It is the ability to come to correct conclusions from limited data, without resorting to memory, analysis or deductive logic. It is part of everyday life  and definitely not a special ability restricted to a few.

Humans are not the only creatures to have a sixth sense. Animals have it too, although we tend to call this ‘instinct’. For instance, we cannot explain the incredible navigational abilities of racing pigeons, migrating birds, fish and insects, or how pets appear to know when their owners are on their way home.

We use our sixth sense long before our reasoning minds develop. We experience it in many ways, such as a gentle feeling or a quiet, comforting voice. We ignore it at our peril, because it is nothing less than our Superconscious Mind transmitting insight and guidance to us.

When we ignore our intuition, it is usually because unhelpful beliefs get in the way, or the intellect kicks in, or we lack the courage to follow it through.

Body intuition

Every physical body is surrounded by a field of energy and intelligence. We constantly use our energy field to subconsciously scan other people’s energy and the environment for danger. We may be alerted by a physical feeling, such as a tightening of the neck and shoulder muscles or queasiness in the stomach. When this happens, our body’s intelligence is trying to keep us safe.

Make better use of this facility by taking your attention to the area around your solar plexus (this is where most of us feel it), and asking a question such as, ‘Is this right for me?’ An uncomfortable feeling or general sense of unease could be your intuition urging you to back off, slow down, or delay making a decision.

Listen carefully to your inner voice. Act upon it. In doing so, you are trusting in the very Intelligence that created you!

Tune in

To tune in to your intuition, quieten the mental chatter. The biggest obstacle is the intellect because it demands evidence which can be verified by the five senses. You can move beyond this limiting state of mind by dropping the need to think everything through logically. If this is difficult for you stop analyzing, naming, counting and labeling everything. For example, when you go to the country, don’t try to name the trees, birds and flowers: just look, breathe deeply, take it all in and enjoy being there. Make more time for quiet reflection.

Intuition or emotion?

Intuition and emotion both work through the body and sometimes feel the same, but they are very different in nature. How do we recognise one from the other?

Emotional responses are learned and by adulthood, usually ingrained. But they may not be reliable. Intuition, on the other hand is pure ‘knowing’ and can always be depended upon. For example, some people are afraid of spiders. Is this an intuition? Probably not. Most house spiders are harmless to human beings, so it is more likely to be an irrational fear programmed into them as children.

The key to making this distinction is self-awareness. If you are aware of your programming, you are more able to distinguish between an intuitive feeling and an emotional one.

Here are more clues:

  • The first feeling is the most reliable. Intuition is felt in the body before the cognitive apparatus clicks into gear and produces a conditioned response.
  • Intuition is subtle. It’s like the triangle in an orchestra, drowned out when the other instruments are in full swing, but unmistakable when they go quiet. There it is – ‘ding.’ Doesn’t it sound good?
  • The stronger the feeling of contentment, the more likely it is to be a genuine intuition.

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 12.12.2016

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The Power of Beliefs

Beliefs are collections of thoughts, or ideas which we hold to be true. All beliefs are learned, mostly in childhood. Most of our beliefs come from our elders. Nothing we believe (as opposed to know) is ever certain.

Millions have died for beliefs that most of us no longer accept, for example:

  • People were once tortured and killed for challenging the conventional belief that the world was flat.
  • The Romans believed it was perfectly acceptable to watch their fellow humans being torn apart by wild animals as a form of entertainment.
  • In South and Central America, it was once believed that the gods looked favourably on sacrifices which could include tearing out the hearts of live human beings.
  • In Europe in the Middle Ages, it was considered God’s will to burn and drown women who showed signs of heightened intuition.
  • In the so-called ‘Age of Reason’ (17th and 18th Centuries), white Europeans thought it right and proper to buy and sell their African brothers and transport them as cargo thousands of miles into slavery.

Having adopted a belief, we take it for granted. We make the ‘facts’ fit the belief and ignore any evidence that doesn’t support it. That’s why unquestioned beliefs are shaky foundations for living.

 Three types of belief

 There are three main types of belief:

  1. Beliefs to which we subscribe in public. We may not truly believe them all, but go along with them to impress, avoid upsetting others or creating a bad impression. We’re normally aware which of our beliefs fall into this category.
  2. Beliefs we tell ourselves in private, which may differ from what we believe in front of others. We may not be aware of some of these since it is possible to lie to ourselves.
  3. Beliefs which are so deeply ingrained we don’t even think about them. We may not even be aware that they are just beliefs. They affect most of what we do whether we’re thinking of them or not.

Self aware people are fully conscious of which beliefs fall into which category and are able to identify negative and self-limiting beliefs and work with them. Sometimes a therapist is needed to bring dysfunctional beliefs to the surface and resolve them.

 Attitude

When a belief is expressed repeatedly with emotion, it becomes an attitude. People with a positive attitude see the world differently; they enjoy the best life has to offer, not because more good things come their way, but because they see the good in whatever comes their way. They also create better circumstances for themselves.

How do you feel when you approach a situation with a positive attitude compared with when you approach it from a negative point of view? As long as we have the ability to think for ourselves, we can choose our attitude. We can establish causes intended to bring specific results. This is how we co-create, with universal forces, our circumstances and experiences in life.

Power of Beliefs

That’s how powerful beliefs are. They define who we think we are, what we think of others and how we think the world works. And yet nothing we believe is ever certain, prompting the philosopher Bertrand Russell to write, ‘I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.’

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 10.11.2016

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Health is Wholeness

What does health mean? It means wholeness in every aspect of our being. The terms ‘health’, ‘heal’ and ‘holy’ all come from ancient words meaning ‘whole’.

Good health has its origins in the invisible energy field from which the atoms of the body are formed. It is a by-product of good habits, physical and mental, and a healthy energy environment. We should all strive for health and wholeness.

Good health comes from within

The body is self-regulating. Every cell possesses energy and intelligence to enable it to perform its function. Cells know what the body needs – high-quality nutritional material (food, fluids, oxygen etc.) for constructing cells, and effective elimination of waste materials. Give it the care it needs. Eat and drink well, exercise, rest and cleanse yourself regularly – these are essential for good health. So are earth-based PEMF (pulsed eletromagneticfields), which improve the delivery of oxygen, nutrients and water to the cells and remove waste.

Most illness is due to the accumulation of waste materials which saturate the tissues. Removing waste depend on the flow of vital energy in the system. If this is interrupted, the body becomes ill. Illness is in effect the body is protesting about mistreatment and striving to free itself.

young fitness woman running on sunrise beach

Good habits are not like medicine, though, to be taken only when you are ill. If you don’t follow them all the time, you won’t enjoy continuous good health.

The Mind-Body Connection

Mind and body are one. Thoughts travel along the nerves to the muscles, organs and tissues, influencing the process by which cells are renewed. Meanwhile, cells continually send messages to the brain. A peaceful emotional state creates healthy cells; anxious states do the opposite.

Negative thoughts can give rise to headaches, an upset stomach, constipation and in more extreme cases, ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome, cancer and all manner of conditions. So be careful what you think and say about your body. Your thoughts send powerful messages to the nervous system. There’s a constant dialogue taking place, so if you hear yourself saying, ‘You’re a pain in the neck’ or ‘this is a real headache’ don’t be surprised if you get one!

What we can learn from placebos

Placebos are pills and potions with no active ingredients. They are often used in clinical trials as ‘controls’. One group takes the test drug, the other a placebo, and the outcomes are compared. It is not unusual for the improvement to be similar in both groups. Some patients even get the same side effects from placebos as if they had taken the actual medication.

Placebos tell us something important about the strength of the mind-body connection. They are rarely used these days because doctors consider it unethical to tell patients a pill has an active ingredient when it hasn’t. Pity. How much potential for safe, effective healing is being lost?

Pain

Pain is ‘an unpleasant and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage or described in terms of such damage.’

Pain is not a fixed thing but a perception.  Our experience of pain is subjective. In other words, identical physical stimuli are perceived differently by two or more individuals. Moreover, pain is a learned phenomenon. Levels of pain vary according to the sufferer’s family and social background, perceived (not actual) stress levels and beliefs about pain.

Hospitals around the world employ psychologists to run pain reduction programmes for individuals in chronic and severe pain where there is no medical explanation. These programmes often feature mind-body techniques such as Neuro-Linguitic Programming and have proved highly successful – more evidence that the mind and body are not just closely connected, but inseparable.

Healthy person

Mind and body are one

Doctors used to believe that they were separate, but enlightened practitioners have always known this was wrong. The body is energy in vibration, and energy is disrupted by wrong thinking. Our thoughts can make us ill, and they can make us well. When we give our bodies what they need, including plenty of loving attention, we increase the flow of life-giving energy.

It is no accident that happy, positive, emotionally balanced people tend to be healthier and live longer!

©David Lawrence Preston, 1.11.2016

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Three Ways Not to Handle Emotions

People go to ridiculous lengths to suppress uncomfortable feelings – alcohol, smoking, drugs, gambling, overeating etc. These can work in the short-term, but are they wise?

Obviously there is nothing wrong with enjoying an occasional drink and so on, but if these tactics are used to mask or suppress painful emotions, you could be storing up trouble for yourself. Why? Because suppressed emotions often surface in other ways:

  • Lack of energy and motivation
  • Stress-related symptoms and illnesses, including violent behaviour or bad temper
  • Depression, anxiety, panic attacks, phobias of one sort or another, etc.
  • Relationship difficulties
  • In extreme cases, physical problems such as asthma, eczema, cancer or arthritis. There is plenty of well documented scientific research to validate this. Medical opinion is rapidly shifting to the view that many debilitating illnesses have emotional causes.

Here are three ways of handling uncomfortable emotions which at best reduce your enjoyment of life and at worst can be self-destructive:

  1. Avoidance

Avoidance means staying away from situations that you fear would make you uncomfortable, for instance:

  • Finding excuses for not going to a party if you’re shy.
  • Steering clear of intimate relationships.
  • Refusing to go for a promotion if you lack confidence (even if you’re capable of doing the job).
  • Dressing unimaginatively to avoid drawing attention to yourself.

Yes, avoidance dulls the current pain – but it also robs you of opportunities to experience the emotions you do want – fun, friendship, love, adventure, achievement, and so on. It also reinforces low self-esteem and can bring loneliness and frustration.

Ultimately, you can’t avoid feeling something. Fortunately, there’s a much better way – understanding your emotions so you can deal with life more effectively. If you want a fresh outcome, you must try a different approach. Even if it goes wrong, you’ve learned something valuable for the future.

  1. Denial

Denial is disassociating from your feelings. You tell yourself and others, ‘It doesn’t feel that bad’. But it does.

Denying an emotion is dangerous. Unless you deal with the root cause, you merely create more and more discomfort. An ignored emotion does not go away. It simply increases in intensity until you are compelled to pay attention, for instance, your partner walks out on you, you lose your job or a serious illness forces you to change.

If you use avoidance tactics, or are often tempted to do so, ask yourself:

  • Am I perceiving thing correctly?
  • What exactly am I trying to avoid?
  • Is the threat real or imagined?
  • What could I do to handle this better?
  • What could I learn from this that would help me?
  • Is there a better way of communicating my needs and wants to others?

Learning from your emotions is the crux of emotional intelligence, but some never learn. Just think: if the oil warning light on the dashboard of your car started flickering, would you pretend you hadn’t seen it or smash the bulb with a hammer? Of course not! You’d check the oil level. Otherwise you could be storing up trouble for yourself.

You can’t run away from emotions – if you think you can, you’re deluding yourself.

  1. Self-indulgence

Some people wallow in their emotions. They pride themselves on feeling worse off than everyone else. ‘You think you’ve got problems. Wait until you hear about mine!’

There are a number of possible reasons for this, but usually it’s an attempt to attract attention and sympathy or to manipulate others by attempting to place blame or make them feel indebted.

Emotional self-indulgence often backfires because the perpetrator can end up with an investment in feeling bad. It then becomes a rapidly descending spiral. Nor would you want to allow your emotional programming to ruin your life, when your emotions could be such a rich source of energy, purpose and enjoyment.

The secret is to treat every emotion as an opportunity for growth and learn from them. When you do this, the terms ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ emotions become irrelevant since you understand that all emotions are there for your benefit.

Emotionally intelligent means knowing what emotions you and others have, how strong they are, and what causes them. It’s about being honest about your feelings, asking for what you want and above all learning to express yourself from the heart.

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 4.7.2016

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Humans are emotional creatures

We kid ourselves that we are intelligent, rational beings, but we’re not. Most humans are more inclined to act emotionally than ‘logically’, and emotions can ruin our ability to think clearly. Mastery of the emotions, especially the ability to stay calm under pressure and bounce back after defeat, is the key to success in many fields. We can all think of talented people who never made the most of their abilities because they lacked ’emotional intelligence’.

Emotions can bring us great joy, but they can also cause of misery, ill-health and frustration. But can we influence them? Can we change them altogether? Yes we can. But we must want to.

What Are Emotions?

‘Emotion’ comes from the Latin, ’emovere’, which means ‘to move’, ‘to excite’ or ‘to agitate’. An emotion is a strong feeling which involves both physical changes and changes in behaviour. It’s different from cognition (thinking) and from volition (willing and wanting), yet all three are related. Just as thinking and wanting involve feeling, so feeling involves thinking and wanting.

Our emotional responses were initially programmed into the primitive part of the brain in early childhood, before the ‘thinking mind’ or ‘intellect’ started to develop. For our first few years, all our behaviour was governed by the emotional centres in the brain. This is why children are so easily emotionally aroused, and why they are able to switch rapidly from, say, anger or tears to smiles.

Every emotional experience we ever had was stored away in the unconscious and continues to influence us long after the original incident took place. Children who are fortunate enough to enjoy caring parents and a safe, loving environment grow up feeling confident and secure. Children who feel unloved and ignored often develop emotional problems which can remain with them for life – unless they deal with them before it is too late.

Sometimes, childhood emotional experiences are so painful that they are repressed deep into the unconscious: this is the mind trying to protect us from the anxiety they would cause if we were fully aware of them. When this happens, they are beyond our conscious awareness but can be released in various ways.

This certainly doesn’t mean that if we had an unhappy childhood, we’re doomed. Not at all. As we mature, that other part of the mind – the intelligent, rational mind – develops. We learn that displays of emotion are not always the best way of getting what we want. We learn more adult ways of functioning.

Deep seated negative emotions

Obviously there is a big difference between momentary emotional discomfort and deep-seated emotional problems. If we find our energy and motivation starting to sag, there’s a lot we can do to get back on track. Similarly, if we’re about to face a stressful experience, there are ways of taking control and coping with the ordeal.

But if old emotional patterns are preventing us from making the best of ourselves, we can use the ‘reflective’ parts of the mind to work through and move beyond them. We can learn how to gently let go of irrational feelings so they no longer upset us; we can train ourselves to look for and use the lessons they offer us. This doesn’t mean ignoring or suppressing emotions – suppressing emotion is extremely dangerous in the long term and can result in serious physical and psychological illness.

We can’t always make an uncomfortable feeling go away especially if it’s deeply ingrained. But we can learn to handle it more effectively. Do this consistently over a period of time, and the discomfort eventually subsides. For example, anyone who has experienced divorce or bereavement knows that time is the great healer. Eventually we adjust to our new circumstances.

Why emotions affect people so differently

A few years ago, a newspaper carried a story about a man who was in a panic. He’d received a letter from the gas company threatening to cut off his supply because he hadn’t paid a £200 bill. They’d threatened him with a court order which would have authorised them to gain entry into his flat. ‘I’m so upset,’ he told the reporter, ‘I won’t sleep tonight.’

The irony was, he lived in an all-electric flat! It was simply a computer error. But why did it affect him so badly? Some would find the idea of the gas company showing up to turn off his non-existent gas supply quite amusing! He was worrying about something that couldn’t possibly happen – and that he knew couldn’t possibly happen. Others would have simply telephoned the company, and calmly sorted it out.

So why the difference? It boils down to the fact that our emotional problems are not for the most part caused by events and circumstances, but by our beliefs, attitudes and reactions. A harsh lesson for some – but true.

Our emotions, like every part of our physical and psychological make-up, have a purpose. We wouldn’t have them otherwise. In essence, they are a fast response feedback mechanism. If things go the way we want, or expect, or are used to, we feel good. If not, we feel bad. Emotions steer us towards what seems safe, comfortable and pleasurable and away from anything which might be uncomfortable. They are born out of our perceptions of what is pleasurable and what could cause ‘pain’.

The important word here is perceptions. But what happens if our perceptions are misguided?

For example, say you are facing a difficult interview for a job you really want.  Your stomach is churning. You may want to ‘bottle out’ but if you do you may miss out on a golden opportunity. Scarcely anyone has ever been killed or injured attending an interview. The worst that can possibly happen is that you dry up or you can’t answer all the questions. Embarrassing but hardly life threatening. So you go ahead anyway, ignoring the emotions – because you know the benefits of getting the job will outweigh the ‘pain’ in the longer term.

We can easily be misled by our own feelings. Just because something feels wrong, it doesn’t necessarily follow that it is wrong. Similarly, just because something feels right, it doesn’t automatically follow that it is right.

Emotions often feel the same as intuitions. Both affect us physically, but there’s a world of difference between an intuitive feeling and an emotional response programmed into the brain when we were young. If it’s genuinely the intuition, we would be foolish to ignore it. But if it is merely emotional conditioning, we could easily be deceived. Sometimes it is best to just feel the fear and do it anyway.

How do you know whether it’s your intuition or emotional programming? That’s the question!

Can we control our emotions?

Think of a time when you were so angry you could quite easily have hurt someone, but you didn’t. What happened? The rational part of your brain clicked into gear, reminded you of the consequences and halted you in your tracks. You knew you would be worse off in the long term if you carried on, so you dealt with it some other way.

We can’t always prevent ourselves from feeling an emotion; the primitive part of the brain tends to click into gear without conscious direction. But unless we have a neurological condition we can control our response. Occasionally, emotions may appear to ‘just come over us’, but that hides the reality. Emotions come from inside. We create them. No-one else can make us feel anything without our participation.

We don’t have to – and shouldn’t always – go with our feelings. Follow them when warranted, and disregard them when you realise that they’re obstructing you progress or leading you into unwanted consequences.

And remember – the Law of Cause and Effect operates irrespective of your emotional programming!

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 1.8.2016

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The art of relating – eight principles

‘It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.’

Alfred Adler

Human beings are interdependent. We need fulfilling relationships. We need others to turn to. Relationships are also the key to success in most areas of achievement, including business.

Research among senior managers has demonstrated:

  • The most important factor in career success is not knowledge, nor technical skills, but the ability to work with a wide variety of people – colleagues, clients, suppliers and customers.
  • The most important things they had to learn to perform their role were how to be firm yet tolerant of others, how to understand others and listen to them and how to motivate others and enthuse them.
  • The ability and willingness to support others is a characteristic of good managers. And people work harder for you when they like you.
  • Assertion and empathy are the most difficult aspects of management to learn.
  • Arrogance, deceitfulness, a patronising attitude, avoidance of inter-personal contact and lack of human warmth in managers disillusion and demotivate employees.

The ability to relate to others is a prerequisite of happiness and success, and an essential aspect of life enrichment.

Here are eight principles that apply to all relationships – with yourself, your partner or spouse, your children, friends and work colleagues and the world around you.

  1. Understand that every relationship involves a mutual fulfilling of needs
  1. Accept responsibility for your relationships
  1. Have a positive attitude to others
  1. Realise that your thoughts and feelings project
  1. Relate to others on an emotional level
  1. Develop your listening and communication skills
  1. Accept others as they are
  1. The more you work on yourself, the better your relationships.

The better these principles are understood and applied, the better your relationships!

 

© David Lawrence Preston, 31.7.2016

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Emotional Healing

Healing at an emotional level should always be a gentle process of letting go, rather than a battle to ‘beat’ whatever originally ’caused’ the upset or illness.

There’s lots of evidence that working through ‘negative’ emotions helps you recover from illness more quickly, and (perhaps even more importantly) reduces the chances of your getting ill in the first place.

To anyone schooled in the bio-mechanical ethic of the last two centuries this is heresy, but virtually every authoritative study shows:

  • Happy, enthusiastic, optimistic people get ill less often.
  • Helping people to manage upset feelings is an effective form of disease prevention.
  • Patients who are more able to handle and express their emotions, especially anger, survive degenerative diseases such as cancer for significantly longer periods.
  • People who are well adjusted emotionally and socially are healthier and live longer:
  • People with close family ties and a wide circle of friends have a much lower mortality rate than those without – irrespective of smoking, drinking, eating and exercise patterns.

Is it possible to change your emotional state and therefore improve your health? Certainly! But it takes patience. Illness is a function of many interactions in your mechanical, energetic and neurological systems, and is not related solely to any one thing. Some diseases involve complex interactions, while others are simpler. But any medium to long-term medical care that neglects emotions is at best inadequate and more likely totally ineffective.

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 12.7.2016

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A New Body Every Year?

Would you like a brand new body every year? It’s not that far-fetched you know!

Revitalise

Your body is constantly regenerating itself. The cells continually die and are replaced with new cells at the rate of more than one million every second.  The cells of the heart and digestive system are replaced every three to six months, and every single cell in the body is replaced at least every two years. Even the cells in your brain are constantly regenerating.

Cell 2

Biologists tell us that every cell of the body has intelligence and respond to your ‘instructions’. As they are replaced, they create the exact pattern you give them through your thoughts, mental images and emotions. If you’re happy, the new cells are more likely to be healthy. If anxious, the new cells are weakened. This way, every emotion is locked into your physical makeup.

Over time, your body becomes a walking autobiography. Your muscles, organs and flesh formations reflect your attitudes, experiences, feelings and beliefs. ‘I’ve hurt my arm’ could be translated to mean, ‘A hurt inside me is manifesting in my arm’. So be careful what you think and say about your body. If you hear yourself saying, ‘You’re a pain in the neck’ or ‘this is a real headache’, don’t be surprised if you get one! Talk like this you’re sending a direct message to the cells from the brain to the nervous system.

Does It Work In Reverse?

Do ‘positive’ emotions give you more energy and keep you well? The answer is a qualified ‘yes’. Enthusiastic, optimistic people do have more energy and appear to get ill less often. Many authoritative studies have concluded that people who are well adjusted emotionally and socially are healthier and live longer.

For example:

  • A research team at the University of Michigan studied 2,700 people for fourteen years, and found that regular social contact significantly increased life expectancy, particularly among men. The death rate among people who did not have close relationships was 250% higher during the study period.
  • A random sample of 7,000 adults in California revealed that adults with strong family bonds, good social relationships and a happy, outgoing attitude had half the mortality rate of those without such ties, irrespective of their smoking, drinking, exercise and eating habits.
  • In another experiment, records were kept of a hundred factory workers in the UK. Those with a supportive home, work and social life stayed healthier than who were dissatisfied with their domestic and working lives. The incidence of arthritis in the least contented group was ten- fold that in the most satisfied.

It’s clear, therefore, that our health and energy levels depend to a great extent on how well we handle our emotions.

Can we can use this insight to heal your body? Yes! Can it help soothe minor aches and pains and relieve temporary problems of one sort or another? Yes! Can it help with more serious conditions? Absolutely! There’s lots of evidence, but that’s for a future blog.

©David Lawrence Preston, 9.7.2016

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