The Eighth Principle of Relationships

The eighth principle is:

Work on yourself. Become a better person, and all your relationships will improve.

The place to start if you want to improve your relationships is with yourself – improving your confidence and self-image, challenging harmful beliefs and learning new listening and communication skills. Cultivate an open, positive attitude to all your relationships.

If you are willing to change, to grow, to work on yourself and become more loving, tolerant and accepting of others, all your relationships will improve.

  • Make this your intention.
  • Examine your thinking; change your self-talk and beliefs.
  • Use your creative imagination to imprint the changes you wish to make on your subconscious.
  • Practise new behaviours, starting with those you find easiest to change, then move on to the more difficult areas. If these changes feel uncomfortable – which change usually does – feel the fear and do it any way.

Nearly everybody wants great relationships with the people around them. Become the kind of person others like being with, and people will gravitate towards you.

‘How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong; because someday in your life, you will have been all of these.’

 George Washington Carver

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 24.6.2016

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How to access your Inner Power

You have a wonderful power within you.

Consider the moment of your birth. At the instant your umbilical cord was cut, you became a separate human being, full of possibilities, charged with spiritual energy. You had within you the seeds of everything you needed to build a happy and fulfilling life. All you needed was someone to encourage your natural birthright to burst forth.

Then what happened?

Did anyone explain how you could make of your life whatever you willed? Were you encouraged to feel like the wonderful miracle of creation that you truly were? Did your adult caretakers nurture your self-esteem, helping you use your innate talents to the full?

Whether they did or not, your Inner Power is always there, just as it always was. It nurtures and sustains you, but the way you conduct yourself ultimately determines how you use it and consequently the kind of life you create for yourself. Everything you do and say has consequences. Greed, envy, selfishness and cruelty are all too much a part of modern life: you don’t have to be a part of them.

It originates in the way you think, imagine and feel.

What you think, feel, and how you speak originates in your ‘inner world’. They condition your behaviour, and attract events and circumstances into your life according to your state of consciousness. Your life is a reflection of whatever you hold in your mind.

It is non-physical, i.e. spiritual.

It has nothing to do with physical attributes. If this were not true, elderly, impaired or diminutive individuals such as Nelson Mandela, Winston Churchill, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Theresa would have made little impact.

You will never realise your full potential as long as you think of yourself primarily as a physical body with a brain. You must go beyond all that to that part of you which ‘knows’ at a much deeper level.

You can access it through your Superconscious Mind

The Superconscious oversees the Conscious and Unconscious Minds and communicates with you through intuition and synchronicity. When you are conversant with it, it endows you with higher-level wisdom, creativity and inspiration, peace of mind, and an exhilarating sense of freedom

There is an ever-present Intelligence that responds when we direct our attention and our thoughts to it. It is the invisible ‘energy’ or ‘intelligence’ that governs the universe; the ‘life-force’ which suffuses everyone and everything, and connects us to each other.

Attune yourself to Higher Consciousness….

The Superconscious is powerful, but only because it has a direct line to something even more significant: Universal Consciousness.

Do I mean God? No. The idea that something or someone is ‘up there’, outside of ourselves, looking down on us, belongs to a bygone age.

Many religious people refer to this life-force as ‘God’, but J. Krishnamurti, a great spiritual teacher from the last century, a man familiar with both the Eastern and Western traditions, said, ‘There is only one God as manifested in you, but I am not going to use the word ‘God’. I prefer to call this ‘Life’.’

God/Life is within you. You can feel it pulsating in every part of your being. It is present in rivers and oceans, it makes the stars shine, the Earth rotate on its axis, flowers bloom, trees grow and fish swim. It heals the sick, and without it, everything dies.

Mahatma Gandhi wrote,

‘Whilst everything around me is ever-changing, ever-dying, there is underlying all that changes a living power that is changeless, that holds all together, that creates, dissolves and re-creates.’

A student once asked the teacher, ‘How can I find God?’ The teacher replied, ‘How does a fish find the ocean?’ You are living in an ocean of consciousness. It is all around you and within you, just as a wave is part of the ocean. Like sunlight, which radiates throughout the solar system, it is available to everyone.

Love, peace and happiness are not to be found in faraway places or unusual states of consciousness, but here, right now, if you are willing to receive them.

…. by having some quiet time to yourself each day….

Make a priority of having regular quiet time for you. When you commune with your Inner Power in silence, your spirituality assumes a progressively greater role in your life. Regular practice of prayer and meditation makes a profound difference.

Affirmative prayer is simply a conversation with your Inner Power.  Many people think prayer is a waste of time, because they have tried it in the past, felt their prayers went unanswered, and gave up. If this is your experience, it is probably for one of two reasons.

  • Either you have not listened hard enough for an answer because that still, small voice within was drowned out by mental clutter.
  • Or your prayers were answered, but either you didn’t notice, or it happened in a way you didn’t expect.

…. then miracles might just happen.

When you make prayer and meditation part of your daily life, everything flows more smoothly. You realise that, from a spiritual point of view, the best thing that could happen to you is happening right now. Learn as much as you can from it and let your Spiritual Self be your guide. Don’t expect miracles to happen, but equally, don’t be surprised if they do.

Allow this power to guide and support you….

The idea of acting ‘as if’ the power of the universe is flowing through you is not an abstract idea, because this energy is as real as you are – indeed, it is you. Until you fully grasp this, you are like a light bulb without current.

You can light up yourself and the world around you, but only once you are plugged in and switched on. You can receive spiritual power whenever you have a use for it.

Universal Consciousness constantly emits creative energy like the sun gives warmth and light. As the Indian teacher, Sai Baba, said:

‘The rays of the sun fall equally on all who are directed in their way. If someone is behind an obstacle, or in a room, he will receive only part of the light. Cultivating the higher spiritual yearnings is like coming out from the confinement of a room into the sun’s rays.’

Your task is to facilitate the flow of this universal energy through you and get out into the sunlight! How? The basic toolkit is in the letters I-T-I-A.

  • Intention: Aspire to your highest potential, aiming at nothing less than completeness and harmony. As long as your intentions are pure and focussed, it’s there for you.
  • Think: Cast off your negative beliefs. Shake off the habits and thinking patterns that have constrained you, clear away the rubbish you have gathered inside you, and raise your thoughts to the underlying Intelligence that governs all our lives. When you look for happiness and fulfilment in a higher way of thinking, anger, fear and anxiety fade into nothing.
  • Imagine: Imagine yourself permeated with this Inner Power, attracting whatever you need into your life as naturally as breathing. Imagine yourself as a giant solar battery absorbing energy from the Source, this energy flowing through you and put to good use in the service of your fellow beings. Imagine that tranquil centre within you radiating energy and drawing others towards you, seeking the same peace of mind and sense of purpose that you have.
  • Action: Put your ideas into action. Allow the invisible hand of Universal Consciousness to guide you. Trusting to this degree may be scary at first, but you know the reason for this is merely your programming and conditioning. The more you use it, the more available it is. Persevere and you will change yourself, your life, and the lives of those around you.

Ironically it is not the achievement of your goals that brings happiness, but the sense of purpose and direction they bring. If you succeed – great! If not, at least you’ve enjoyed trying.

…. and you will be happy, peaceful and fulfilled and have the courage to follow your dreams.

No words can express how you will feel once you have awakened the infinite power within you. You realise that all along there was something wonderful within you, and you did not know it. But now you do know it. You are greater than you knew, and all is well.

©David Lawrence Preston,

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The Second Law – The Law of Attraction

The universe works on energy and attraction. The mind has a magnetic quality which attracts whatever we hold in our consciousness. Thoughts of good things attract good things: loving thoughts attract love, peaceful thoughts attract peace, thoughts of success attract success and so on. In the same way, thoughts of fear, illness, poverty and so on attract according to their kind.

This has long been recognised. The Bible attribute to King Solomon the words, ‘As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.’ The Buddha said, ‘All that we are arises with our thoughts; with our thoughts we make our world’. The Roman scholar Marcus Aurelius wrote, ‘A man’s life is what his thoughts make of it.’ William Shakespeare wrote, ‘Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so’.

The Laws of Cause and Effect and Attraction teach that success in any area of life comes from firming up our intentions, and thinking the kind of thoughts that are consistent with what we desire.

Focus on what you want, not what you don’t

Any line of thinking that you dwell and act upon takes root in your subconscious mind and influences your behaviour. When you focus our minds on what you want, you’ll get it.

Ironically, when you focus your mind on what you don’t have and don’t want, that’s also what you get!

  • The laws of flight were not discovered by people focussing on why things stay on the ground.
  • The inventor of steel ships, Brunel, was ridiculed by people who understood only why vessels sunk.
  • Early psychologists were so obsessed with mental illness they had little understanding of what made people happy.
  • Similarly, focusing on disease does little to help us live long and be healthy.

Breaking a negative cycle

To break a negative cycle, get your mind off what you don’t want, because by dwelling on this you’ll continue to attract it into your life. ‘This is just the way I am,’ is an especially dangerous thought. Change it to, ‘this is how I choose (or intend) to be.’

Nothing much is possible unless you align your thinking with success, believe you can succeed and then take the right actions. This is the I-T-I-A Formula.

See https://blog.davidlawrencepreston.co.uk/2016/03/i-t-i-a-formula/

Develop the power of concentration

Concentration is the ability to direct your thinking. It is the ability to focus your mind on one thought, image, sound or object. Concentration brings the Laws of Cause and Effect and Attraction into play.

Concentration can be learned like any other skill, but must be practised. Start by practising this simple exercise: When you notice your thoughts wandering, say STOP and then gently bring your attention back to where you want it to be. Each time it wanders, bring it back. You may need to do this dozens of times a day at first, but you will find that it gets easier if you are patient and keep at it.

©David Lawrence Preston, 2.6.2016

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Problems, problems, problems!

Think of a problem that seemed terrible at the time, that you now look back on and think, ‘I learned a lot from that?’ Perhaps you surprised yourself, and now thanks to this, you feel more confident. Perhaps you now realise that opportunities often come disguised as problems and all it takes is a change in thinking to make the most of them.

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Eight ways to handle a problem

 1. Write it down.

Problems often seem less overwhelming when put down on paper in a clear and organised fashion.

 2. Focus on finding a solution.

Spend no more than 20% of your time and mental energy analysing the problem, and 80% on thinking about the solution.

3. Stop pitying self-talk and negative questions.

Ask yourself, ‘What can I do to solve this problem?’ ‘How can I turn it to my advantage?’ ‘What more do I need to know?’ and so on. These questions get your unconscious working for rather than against you.

4. Don’t exaggerate the problem.

Problems are soon blown up out of all proportion by anxious thoughts, anger, guilt, and looking for someone or something to blame.

5. Don’t underestimate the problem.

Don’t underestimate the problem nor your capacity to deal with it. Many problems are handled badly because they aren’t taken seriously enough. See reality as it is.

6. Take action.

Take action.  NOW. You solve problems only by doing something about them. Sometimes you need to take time to think things through, but once you’ve worked it out get started. Procrastination can be risky.

7. Ask for help if you need it.

Don’t be too proud to ask for help if you need it. Most people like to lend a hand, like to feel useful. It boosts their self-esteem.

8. Ask your intuition.

If all else fails, ask your intuitive mind for guidance (see my other blogs).

Stay flexible

Stay committed to your plans, but don’t be too rigid. Be open to new ideas and don’t dismiss options you haven’t yet thought of. Flexibility does not mean weakness. Trees that sway with the wind best weather the storm!

Sometimes things happen you just can’t help and what matters is how you respond. You have choices. If one path becomes blocked, look for a workable alternative and try again.

Learn from your failures

Life presents each of us with a series of learning curves, each building on the other. Failure is a natural part of success. Failing doesn’t make you a failure as a person. The only real failure is giving up or not trying at all.

There are opportunities in every challenge. Every setback contains within it the seeds of success, providing you can spot them. Deal with problems as they arise and turn difficulties to your advantage. Hardly anyone gets everything right first time.

The big questions

If you’re sure you have the right goals, have tried your hardest and still don’t seem to be getting every far, ask yourself the big questions. Be honest with yourself. You may not like the answers that come:

WHAT AM I NOT FACING UP TO?

WHAT AM i UNWILLING TO DO?

Lack of success is often the result of being unwilling to do everything that is required. For example, many well qualified and competent professionals struggle to establish their practices. In nearly every case, their failure is due to their unwillingness to get involved in the business side of things, especially sales promotion.

If you’re aware of something you’re unwilling to do that is holding you back, make a plan, apply the I-T-I-A Formula (https://blog.davidlawrencepreston.co.uk/2016/03/i-t-i-a-formula/) and Eight Steps above and start putting it right.

If you are stuck in a rut and nothing seems to be working you could try consciously breaking your habits and routines. This could give you a fresh outlook. For example:

  • Travel to work by a different route or different mode of transport.
  • Read a different newspaper and tune in to different media channels.
  • Wear something different.
  • Eat at different times.
  • Mix with different people.

Moving out of your comfort zone encourages new thinking and stimulates the creative juices!

And finally – be grateful for your problems! They help you to grow as a person, and that’s what life is all about.

©David Lawrence Preston, 1.6.2016

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What You Must Do To Succeed

The tools for transforming your life are:

I – Intention

T – Thought.

I – Imagination.

A – Action.

Intention sets your course; thinking and imagination bring your mind into line with your ambitions; and action makes your goals reality.

The points below are in no particular order of priority – they’re all important.

  1. Keep your goals very clearly etched in your mind. Write them on a small card and keep it with you. Read it daily. Affirm silently and aloud that you can achieve them and are well on the way to doing so. Every morning and night, ‘visualise’ yourself (in clear detail) accomplishing your goal, and use autosuggestion.
  2. Be proactive. Take the initiative. Make things happen. ‘Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.’ (Goethe)
  3. Identify your key result areas. In many fields, there are only a few – perhaps three or four – activities at which you must excel. It’s important to know what these are, and master them
  4. Plan carefully. Planning starts the process of translating your goals from ideas into something tangible. Included in your plan should be your long, medium and short-term goals. Long-term goals spell out your ultimate destination; medium goals are the major landmarks along the way; and short-term goals are your immediate priorities. Specify how you will set about achieving your goals and write it down. Read through the plan regularly to assess whether you’re on course. If not – make adjustments. But remember, no plan should ever be cast in stone. If it turns out to be impractical, change course. A good plan is not restrictive, but allows for every likely contingency.
  5. Assess risk. You may need to take a few risks, but risk taking doesn’t mean being foolhardy: weigh up the odds and if there’s a good chance of success have a go. Do your homework.
  6. Teamwork: Most achievements involve working with others to accomplish a goal. You’re unlikely to have all the information, skills, resources and contacts that you need. Find people who can help. Working with a team enables you to plug the gaps in areas where you’re relatively weak, generate more and better ideas than you could alone, gain access to resources you do not have and benefit from synergy – (the ‘2+2=5’ effect).  And most importantly, make sure that everyone in your team benefits.
  7. Go the extra mile. Give a little extra. Look for ways of doing more than is expected of you. Your ‘customers’ will come back for more and will recommend you to others.
  8. Learn from your ‘failures’ – everyone has them. Every successful person knows that each so-called ‘failure’ contains within it the seeds of success – providing you can spot them and turn them to your advantage. Thomas Edison tried for years to perfect the electric light bulb despite being told by the best scientific minds of the day that it was impossible to get light from electricity. After approximately five thousand attempts, a journalist asked him why he was risking his reputation on such a futile exercise. ‘You don’t understand the way the world works,’ he replied. ‘I haven’t failed at all. I’ve just found five thousand ways it won’t work. Each one takes me closer to discovering the way it will’. View setbacks merely as inconvenient and keep going.
  9. Don’t be a DOPE – ‘Driven by Other People’s Expectations’. Many people deny their own potential because listen to the wrong people. Dr Albert Einstein offered the following advice: ‘Be independent of the opinion of others.’ Share your dreams only with people who have high aspirations of their own. They’ll understand.
  10. Time management: success depends a great deal on how you use your time. You’ve heard it said that ‘time is money’, and this is partly true, but with two important differences: You can’t save time to spend another day; and no matter how much time you’ve wasted in the past, you’ve still got now… and tomorrow… and the day after that…
  11. Monitor your results. If you’re making headway – fine. Keep going. Carry out some fine-tuning if necessary. But if you’re not, be honest with yourself. Find out where you’re going wrong and make adjustments.
  12. Never, never give up. Determination and perseverance are probably the main distinguishing qualities of successful people.

©David Lawrence Preston, 21.3.2016

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Your Inner Teacher

Just suppose you had an ‘inner teacher’ who knew exactly what you needed to learn in any moment. Well you have.

It’s one of the functions of your intuition, housed in your unconscious mind.

If certain situations or thinking patterns bring about ‘negative’ emotions in you, your inner teacher makes sure you have more of these experiences until you get the message. In other words, if you handle a situation unskillfully you’ll get another opportunity to learn.

If there are patterns which you would like to change, reflect on the best way of handling them, clarify your intentions, examine your thinking and beliefs, mentally rehearse future situations  and adjust your words and actions.

Remember, your inner teacher doesn’t just rely on uncomfortable experiences to get its message across – it works for ‘positives’ too. If you’re experiencing good feelings, it’s your intuition saying, ‘You handled that perfectly. Congratulations!

©David Lawrence Preston, 9.3.2016

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