Tag: communication
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Bridge and the Game of Life
Having recently taken up the game again after a twenty year gap, it seems to me that in many ways Bridge is an analogy for life. Think about it. People come from North, South, East and West. Everyone must come to the table. There are rules and conventions to be observed. If you don’t, you’ll…
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‘I’ll try’ or ‘I don’t want to’?
‘I’ll try’ implies ‘I don’t want to’. How often have you asked (or invited) someone to do something and they’ve said ‘I’ll try’, only to let you down? ‘I’ll try to do it today.’ ‘I’ll try to make it to the meeting.’ ‘I’ll try to help.’ How many people have been disappointed by ‘I’ll try’,…
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Give up approval-seeking behaviour
It’s perfectly natural to want to be liked and accepted, but it becomes a problem if you constantly edit yourself to win others’ approval. Approval-seeking behaviour has some short-term benefits (e.g. it can help avoid arguments), but has long-term consequences. You are unlikely to feel good about yourself if you continually pander to others. Concern…
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Accept others as they are
The biggest mistake we make in relationships is wishing other people were different and trying to change them. This leads only to resistance and resentment on both sides. They’re not going to change for you unless they want to. Accept people as they are. Be happy for others to be themselves. Few will measure up…
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Non-judgement: not all judgements are bad but some can destroy you!
Our judgements can be huge stumbling blocks. We live by our judgements, but how do we know they are correct? What right do we have to judge our fellow beings? Can we ever know what is right for anyone else? Here I’m not thinking of everyday judgements like when to overtake, when our food is…
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The Law of Reciprocity IS the Golden Rule
The Law of Reciprocity is the Golden Rule. It is usually stated as: ‘Treat everyone as you like to be treated.’ However this is not quite right. Others have their own values and preferences that you may not share. They may not want to be treated the same. Therefore the Law of Reciprocity is better…
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Love your enemies
A great teacher once said, ‘Love your enemies,’ baffling not only his audience but also hundreds of millions ever since. How can it be in our own interests to love our enemies? What did he mean by this? Problems with others usually occur because our own thinking is in error. With no enmity in our…
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Accept others as they are
Perhaps the biggest mistake we make in relationships is wishing other people were different and trying to change them. This leads only to resistance and resentment on both sides. They’re not going to change for you unless they want to. Accept people as they are. Be happy for others to be themselves. Few will measure…
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Non-judgement
Our judgements can be huge stumbling blocks. We live by our judgements, but how do we know they are correct? What right do we have to judge our fellow beings? Can we ever know what is right for anyone else? Here I’m not thinking of everyday judgements like when to overtake, when our food is…
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Live your truth and don’t be a DOPE!
Others love you the most when you live your truth. You’re on your own path, chosen and shaped by your situation, your environment, talents, skills, attitudes, aptitudes and interests. Others have theirs which determine the path they take. Comparing your path with someone else’s is pointless, like comparing apples with oranges; both are fruits, but…