Respect yourself!

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If you could have done it better, you would have.

If you could have known better, you would have.

You learn by doing it right and you learn by getting it wrong.

Missed opportunities will come round again, only next time you’ll be ready for them.

Just because you once saw something as bad for you once doesn’t mean it would be bad for you again.

Just because something was good for you once doesn’t mean it would be good for you again.

You learn by doing. Learning by doing is how you progress.

David Lawrence Preston, 21.9.2017

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6 Tips for Inner Peace

Inner peace if destroyed by mental tension. The source of most mental tension is the ego – that part of our psyche which constructs the image of ourselves we like to present to the world.  Your ego is your idea of who you should be and who you would like others to think you are.

How do we put the ego in its rightful place and create inner peace for ourselves? Here’s six thoughts:

1. Give up the need to be right

Giving up the need to be right has nothing to do with whether you actually are right or not (which is often a moot point), but avoiding making others wrong.

Let everyone have their say and keep your counsel. Unless you absolutely must (e.g. in a difficult negotiation situation), avoid arguments and disagreements and refuse to respond to provocation.

In the greater scheme of things, you and your adversary are at one, so look for ways you can both be right. That’s win-win.

2. Stop judging

A judgement is ‘a view or declaration of what is good, right or fair.’ Some judgements are necessary because they help us to make sound decisions. Take driving for instance: judging speed, distance and direction are essential for our safety.

But there are other kinds of judgements: judging what is good or bad, better, worse, right, wrong, moral, immoral and so on. These are judgements of the ego.

Stop judging other people. Who are you to judge them? How can you condemn the path they have chosen? What right have you to make statements about what they are doing and where they need to be?

 3. Get away from ‘what’s in it for me’

‘What’s in it for me’ is the mantra of the ego. Its first instinct is to protect and take care of itself.

The deeper, Inner Self has different priorities. It sees the bigger picture. It is concerned with what’s most likely to benefit all and how you can help.

4. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Ego-dominated people feed off others’ approval. They are preoccupied with their reputation and easily take offence. They are easy targets since they are easily upset and become aggressive when they feel under attack.

Learn not to take offence at what others say or do. Remember, when someone disagrees with you or criticises you, they’re judging only your outward appearance, not the real you. Step back – there’s always a lighter side!

5. Put a stop to jealousy

Jealousy is born of fear. The ego is dominated by fear. It begrudges others their talents and achievements, not recognising that one person’s success can benefit all.

In order to feel jealous, you must compare yourself unfavourably with others. Let go of the need to compare yourself with others. Take pleasure in their good fortune. Wish them happiness. What matters is not what others have or do, but how far you have progressed along your path.

6. Constantly remind yourself who you are

Constantly remind yourself you are Infinite Intelligence in human form. Stop looking outside yourself and instead look within to where lasting peace and joy may be found.

Before long, you won’t need to remind yourself any more – you’ll just know it.

The difference it makes

When you discover the truth about yourself, that you in essence are a spiritual being, your self-image is no longer based on your physical features. Your deepest values are non-physical – happiness, peace, love, truth and so on. You transcend your previous limitations.

You are equally aware of others as spiritual beings on their own journey. You see them in terms of their virtues, values and talents. Love is your predominant feeling towards them.

You take responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions because you know they are the seeds of your future harvest. You approach problems differently. You know that if you want change you must focus on ’causes’ because it is absurd to expect ‘effects’ to deal with themselves. You are self-reliant, at ease with yourself and warm and respectful towards others.

Isn’t this what you want?

©David Lawrence Preston, 23.6.2017

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Let go of envy

Let go of envy.  Envy does untold harm to physical and mental well-being.

When you envy what someone else has (or appears to have), you establish poverty thinking patterns in your consciousness. You divert your attention away from factors under your control (your thoughts, words and actions) to those beyond your control (what others do, say and have). And what do thoughts such as these attract? More envy, more scarcity!

So what if someone has more than you? They are no better or worse; they have just made different choices. You cannot know the struggles they have gone through to acquire that ‘stuff’, nor debts they owe, nor the weight of responsibility it brings.

Instead, take pleasure in others’ prosperity and wish them well, thus adding to your own feelings of contentment.

©David Lawrence Preston, 7.2.2017

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Give up approval-seeking behaviour

It’s perfectly natural to want to be liked and accepted, but it becomes a problem if you constantly edit yourself to win others’ approval.

Approval-seeking behaviour has some short-term benefits (e.g. it can help avoid arguments), but has long-term consequences. You are unlikely to feel good about yourself if you continually pander to others.

Concern yourself less with other people’s opinions. Others don’t necessarily see things your way or know what’s best for you. Make your own decisions and honour your own values. Others’ expectations are not your concern. You didn’t create them, and you don’t own them. If they don’t like what you do, that’s their problem, not yours.

You are unique. Strangely, many of us are obsessed with trying to acceptable to our fellow human beings find acceptable. Value your uniqueness! When you live your own truth, the sense of freedom is invigorating.

You may feel uncomfortable when you first put this into practice. The cause of your discomfort is your emotional programming. So persevere. Before long the uncomfortable feelings fade away.

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 18.1.2017

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Self-love

Is it wrong to love yourself?  Some people think so. They think of people who love themselves as being rather unpleasant,  selfish and conceited.

But loving yourself is not the same as being in love with yourself. This is usually a form of bravado indulged in by individuals who think too little of themselves and desperately try to hide it.

To love yourself, you don’t have to do everything perfectly. You don’t have to prove anything. You don’t even have to do your best.

Self-love benefits others too, for only when you have love for yourself can you share it with others. Disliking oneself is no way to spread love and help others to feel better about themselves.

Self-acceptance

Self-acceptance is closely related to self-love. Self-acceptance means acknowledging what you are and respecting all aspects of yourself.

It does not mean giving up on yourself. If there’s something you want to change that is worth changing, change it. Do it lovingly.

As your capacity for self-love grows, other changes occur too. You become more tolerant, calm, compassionate and peaceful. Others feel better in your presence (animals are also very quick to pick up on this.) You instill calmness and confidence in others.

©David Lawrence Preston 18.1.2017

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Transform yourself by the renewal of your mind

Your self-esteem is a set of thoughts which manifest in attitudes, emotions and behaviours. If it needs a makeover, apply the I-T-I-A Formula. Remember: all four parts are necessary to effect permanent change.

Intention: Decide right now that you’ll treat yourself with love and respect, and accept only what is right for you.

Thinking: Monitor your self-talk, examine your beliefs, and use affirmations to re-align your thinking. Self-deprecating thoughts have nothing to sustain them other than our own habits.

Imagination: Create the person you want to be in your imagination, knowing that he/she will eventually become the reality.

Action: Let your intentions, thinking and imagination show in your behaviour.  If this feels uncomfortable at first, take it in small steps, ignore any discomfort, and above all persist. Consistent action based on right thinking always brings results.

Persistence and determination are key. Let nothing get in the way of your quest for confidence,  high self-esteem and inner peace. Stretch yourself a little every day. Each success, however small, brings encouragement..

©David Lawrence Preston, 16.1.2017

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A human being having spiritual experiences?

The biggest leap in self-esteem takes place when you stop thinking of yourself merely as a body with a brain and instead see yourself as spiritual being in human form.

This is not some fanciful New Age idea – it is rooted in quantum science, which tells us that everything that appears solid and material is actually composed of infinitesimally tiny particles shaped by invisible information fields.

When we think of ourselves as nothing more than physical beings, our self-esteem is heavily based on our material form and what we do. We believe that our self-worth is related to our appearance, performance, ability to do things well and maybe what we earn. We are easily influenced by what others say, and are over-anxious to please. Fear – of what others think of us and what might happen in the future – plays a big part in our thinking.

However

When we know that we are spiritual beings, our entire perspective changes. Our sense of identity is now based on non-physical attributes. We never question our intrinsic worth. We are familiar, very familiar, with the silent, peaceful state in which we are connected to our Source.

We are guided by our intuition and no longer dependent on others’ opinions. We honour our own deepest values and cherish compassion, wisdom and truth. We know that we have these within ourselves and strive to make them a greater part of our experience.

We see others as spiritual beings, so are more tolerant and less likely to label them. We recognise our one-ness. We take responsibility for our thoughts, words, feelings and actions, knowing that these are choices which actively create our future.

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 9.1.2017

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A Miracle of Creation

When you were a child, did anyone tell you that you were a miracle of creation, made of the same stuff as the stars, and that everything in the universe plays its part in supporting you?

I thought not. If you were schooled in certain religions, you were more likely to be told that you were a humble sinner rather than a boundless Child of Spirit.

Then for many it gets worse. Very few young people reach maturity without having their self-esteem dented by clumsy or insensitive programming. Some psychologists believe childhood experiences lay down the pattern for life and can never be surmounted, but this is simply not true. What determines your self-esteem is not your upbringing, but your beliefs about it and your attitude to yourself now. And these are entirely within your control.

If you think of yourself as anything less than perfect and imagine yourself as less worthy than anybody else, you are selling yourself short!

‘The moment you accept yourself as you are, all burdens, all mountainous burdens, simply disappear. Then life is a sheer joy, a festival of lights.’

Osho

You are your gift to the world, so make it as good as it can be. Seek out  that which can help you in your personal and spiritual growth. Let nothing get in the way of your quest for spiritual awareness, self-esteem and inner peace.

©David Lawrence Preston, 9.1.2017

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Knowing is not enough: spirituality must be lived

Spiritual awareness is not just about explaining the nature of reality and our place in it – its main value is in knowing how to live. Higher consciousness must be wanted, thought about, dreamed of and believed in. Then it must be lived.

Once we realise that everything we need lies within us, we set to work to remove the mental blockages and let Universal Intelligence flow through us. Our Higher Selves then assume a progressively greater role in our lives. We understand that thought and action are two sides of the same coin. Thought precedes action, and action stimulates and reinforces thought. Over time we notice the two merging into each other.

Reflection

We learn from our actions through reflection. Through reflection we adjust our thinking, change our actions and hopefully get it right next time. If not – try again.

Stick to your principles and live the truth as you see it, speaking and acting honestly in everything you do. Have a clear conscience. Cultivate self-respect and peace of mind. Then you’re living spiritually.

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 1.1.2017

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Non-judgement: not all judgements are bad but some can destroy you!

Our judgements can be huge stumbling blocks. We live by our judgements, but how do we know they are correct? What right do we have to judge our fellow beings? Can we ever know what is right for anyone else?

Here I’m not thinking of everyday judgements like when to overtake, when our food is cooked or whether to but X or Y in the supermarket, but when we judge people, events etc. right or wrong, good or bad. Giving up these kinds of judgments is hard but essential for inner peace. When we stop these we become more tolerant. We see the things we used to judge differently, as opportunities to raise our vibration by thinking higher thoughts.

When you are tempted to judge another, tell yourself to stop, drop the thought and replace it with an affirmation such as, ‘I gladly and willingly accept….. as it is/they are.’

Stop judging by appearances

A few years ago, a TV advertisement showed a shaven-headed young man running along a street towards an elderly woman and then pushing her to the ground. The camera pulled back to show a pallet of concrete blocks falling from an overhead crane. Seconds later, they landed right where she would have been! Far from being a mugger, he was a hero. He had saved her life.

The point of the advertisement was, of course, that it is dangerous to judge by appearances because we don’t always see the bigger picture.

Train yourself to look for the reasons behind an individual’s behaviour and learn from it if you can, but don’t pass any judgement. People’s behaviour is driven by motives; motives are driven by perceived needs. That’s their stuff, not yours.

We label ourselves with our judgements

When we judge another, it says nothing about them but a great deal about us. For instance, judging someone to be an idiot doesn’t make them one, but it does expose you as a person who needs to judge. Who would you be if you didn’t have this need? How would your life be different?

The blame game

 Blaming starts with making judgements. It fixes your awareness in the past, distracts you from constructive present moment actions and potentially sets up conflict and resentment.

Don’t blame anyone else if something appears to be wrong in your life. Instead, take responsibility for putting it right. Equally, if others seek to blame you, it doesn’t necessarily make it your fault. Their judgments belong to them, not you.

Bearing grudges harms only you

I’m often struck by the way victims of crimes react when pressed to say how they feel in front of the news cameras. Some burst into tears, some express their loss, and others express a desire for vengeance. ‘We want justice,’ they say. ‘No punishment is sufficient to repay what they did. We’ll never forgive? Why should we?’

This is understandable perhaps, but they are storing up trouble for themselves. No-one can have peace of mind while clinging to a desire for retribution. If someone treats you unfairly, let it go as quickly as possible. Acid destroys only the vessel which contains it.

 

©David Lawrence Preston, 6.12.2016

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