Author: David Lawrence Preston
-
Intuition – your infallible inner guidance
In his novel, ‘Angels and Demons’, Dan Brown writes: ‘Remarkable solutions to seemingly impossible problems often occur in moments of clarity. It’s what gurus call ‘higher consciousness’. Biologists call it altered states, psychologists super-sentience. Sometimes divine revelations simply mean adjusting your brain to hear what your heart already knows.’ A common term for higher consciousness…
-
How to resolve everyday conflicts
The challenge with everyday conflict is not to avoid it (which is almost impossible) but to settle it quickly, learn from it and move on. The fact is, everyone knows how to upset their nearest and dearest because they have inadvertently taught each other over time what hurts the most. Conflict is best resolved by:…
-
Receiving criticism
Constructive criticism given by someone who is genuinely concerned for you can be very valuable. When someone criticizes you, before you respond consider: Where are they coming from? Are they really concerned for my welfare or projecting their own issues onto me? People who constantly criticize others are usually critical of themselves. They project these…
-
Giving Criticism
Everyone is criticized from time to time, and there are times when we feel the need to criticize. This can be an uncomfortable experience for both giver and receiver, and if handled badly it can destroy a relationship. Our response to criticism is heavily influenced by our self-esteem and our experiences as children. Critical parents…
-
The busy mind is like a muddy pond
Deep inside us, at our very core, is a place of absolute peace and stillness where we become aware of the loving Presence at the centre of our being. But first we have to clear away the foolish thoughts and emotional fog which obscure it. Thinking too much is like over-eating – it brings a…
-
Meditate and be mindful
‘Meditate and be mindful, and all else will follow.’ The Buddha Meditation means ‘to focus one’s thoughts’, ‘give attention to’ or ‘engage in contemplation or reflection’. Anyone deep in thought is meditating. Whenever our thoughts are focused on a particular idea we enter a meditative state. The biggest obstacle to entering this peaceful state is…
-
A comment on assertiveness
I know from personal experience that when you first become more assertive, your closest friends, family and colleagues may have problems adjusting to your new behaviour. They may even feel threatened by it. Of course, you don’t want to be knocked back to where you were, and why should you? Just be sensitive to their…
-
Handling Confrontation
Most people dislike confrontation, but if you have confidence in yourself and know how to diffuse aggression you need not be unduly worried by it. Try the following: Empathic statements Stay calm, listen attentively and show that you recognise how the other person feels by acknowledging their feelings. This often diffuses a situation when tempers…
-
How to be more assertive
Even if you’ve never considered yourself a particularly assertive person, mastering a few basic techniques can help you to develop this essential skill. Start with small steps and stretch yourself a little more each day as your confidence grows. The basic rules are: Choose your outcomes. Decide what you want after consider the consequences. Adopt…
-
Why not ask for what you want?
You’d be amazed how many opportunities open up when you ask for what you want. Often, asking is all we have to do, but many of us don’t bother. Why don’t more people ask for what they want more often? There are six main reasons: Six reasons why people don’t ask for what they want…