Tag: needs

  • Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing

    I was asked to give a talk on love for Valentine’s Day. I accepted. Shouldn’t be too hard, I thought. After all, everyone wants to love and be loved, don’t they? I soon wished I hadn’t. Like Prince Charles I couldn’t even decide – what is love? I trawled the internet. I found the views…

  • The Second Principle of Relationships

    The Second Principle of relationships is: If you want a relationship to succeed, you must take responsibility for the relationship. The fundamental truth about relationships is this: other people are primarily interested in themselves, not you. They are primarily governed by self-interest (as are you). So the more important you make a person feel, the…

  • The First Principle of Relationships

    The first (and overriding) principle of relationships is this: Every relationship involves a mutual fulfilling of needs If you fulfill someone else’s needs, they want to maintain and deepen your relationship. If you don’t, they’ll avoid you or minimise their contact with you. Think about it – do you like spending time with people who…

  • What motivates you?

    Motivation is what gives us a reason for action. For instance, when we are hungry, we are moved to find food. (Physical deprivation produces powerful motivation.) Well motivated people have more enthusiasm, more energy and are less likely to give up. And they get more done. Early experiments on animals concluded that we are motivated…